Love, Thai Style

In honor of the mid-February slump, here’s a fairy tale.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl with curly brown hair and blue eyes teaching in a faraway land. Everyone told her she was young, and compared to all the teachers in their 40s and 50s, she was. There was a particular young gentleman who taught Social Studies at the same school as her. Kieng was no Prince, but he was kind, shy, and spoke decent English and he always attended the teacher talks that the beautiful girl held with her Thai teacher friend.

One night the girl was talking a walk to get dinner and stumbled upon Kieng and his friends eating noodles. He asked the girl to join him, and in this culture it is rude to turn someone down for no reason: one must always save face. So she saved Kieng’s face and joined them. She had a good time with the friends who spoke little English as she used her very broken Thai. Kieng asked the beautiful girl her age and whether she was lonely or had a boyfriend. After learning that she was very young and had a boyfriend, he said he was 39. The beautiful girl was very surprised because she thought he might only be thirty. In this strange land, the natives often look younger than they are. And Kieng was.

Soon the friends decided to go to karaoke; they insisted the beautiful girl come along, so they pulled her onto their chariot (er, motorbike) and rode off. Sitting with the three men and the other four karaoke girls, the beautiful girl felt very out of place. The friends continued to be friendly, and Kieng continued asking questions about the girl’s home.

Eventually they left and Kieng took the beautiful girl home. When she descended from the chariot, Kieng told her he loved her and he wanted to be with her forever. While she did not love him back, she thought he was a nice guy. She said she was sorry and she told him to have a good night. He was sad. As soon as the girl got inside her home, the sky opened up and began pouring.

The beautiful girl hoped Kieng understood, but he had her phone number and within the next few days, he started calling her. Every day he made sure to call at least six times; every day the beautiful girl did not answer. Her friend remembered that Kieng was probably married- he had been just four months ago, and divorces in this land are uncommon and rather un-fairly-tale-like. The beautiful girl’s beautiful consultant encouraged her to keep ignoring the phone calls and by no means share this story with any other teachers – they are the town gossipers.

One weekend, Kieng was out of town so the phone calls to the beautiful girl stopped. The next week in the lunch room, the beautiful girl was sick and feeling less than beautiful, but Kieng asked whether she had received his calls. She thought about lying, but decided it best to be honest: she told him that it was not a good idea for them to talk. He finally understood, and even though she felt really badly, the beautiful girl knew she had made the right decision.

After that, Kieng only sent the beautiful girl friendly emails and one text message on Valentine’s Day. The beautiful girl lived happily ever after, and she can only hope Kieng will, too.

 

R.I.P. to my life

This whirlwind weekend included swimming in a waterfall at the amazing Khao Yai National Park, getting on several buses and and even more saengthaws, arriving in Khon Kaen at midnight on Saturday night/Sunday morning, staying up all night, and watching a TEFLer run her first marathon.

It also included me losing my wallet.  5000 baht, my Thai bank card, my American bank card, my driver’s license, my house key, and my iPod shuffle were all stowed in the little zipper pouch.  Then, on the noon bus back to Korat, I realized my 4GB memory stick was also in my wallet.  You know, the one that held my official documents, my lesson plans, some music, oh and ALL MY PICTURES SINCE I GOT TO THAILAND.

Your condolences are appreciated.

 

Gay Twin Mints

Can anyone inform me what the Thai business folks were thinking with this bit of marketing for Arctic Ice Mints?

 

15 to 100

This country is killing me.

The King’s sister died on 2 January and so the country took on fifteen days of mourning.  This included flying the national flag at half-staff and a special prayer service for the royal family everyday.  Normal, okay.  This also included all government officials wearing black and white during their work everyday. This little tidbit of information includes government school teachers such as yours truly.

OK, I say to this country, I will wear the single black shirt and 2-3 white shirts I have everyday for 15 days.  OK, I say, I will go to Korat on my day off to buy a rather ugly black skirt.  OK, I say, I will deal with all the Thai teachers staring at me for having a decidedly unfashionable approach to black and white and wearing the same things repeatedly. I am the falang teacher, a whole wardrobe of clothing does not fit into my suitcase, I want to shout at them! Your country thinks a US Size 6 is an XL and doesn’t make much bigger than that…

So today, surprise surprise, the country decides 15 days of mourning is not enough.  They upped it to 100 days.  One hundred days of mourning.   One hundred.  This means the other four skirts and ten shirts (including five King shirts I’ve bought here, and I am counting) hanging in my closet are worthless.  Forever.

Guess who’s going shopping?

 

The Awkward German

Once upon a time, I was at Bo’s house earlier with the usual happenings – a little dinner, a little lounging.  Beam Beam and I were watching Thailand’s women basketball team playing Malaysia, it was back and forth for the whole final quarter.  Beam Beam was playing with an English workbook, so he would tug on my arm and say, “Chrissy, krap, suh-nake?” Or ask me to pronounce giraffe. The game goes to overtime - it’s actually more exciting than I thought as far as women’s sports in Asia are concerned. 

All of a sudden, Tak rushes into the room and puts a big picture (we’re talking the size of three 8×10s) of Bo and a white guy on the shelf above the television.

“Chrissyyyy, husband here, come!”

What the hell is she talking about? I walk outisde where Nong, May, and Tak were sitting and the man from the giant picture is standing next to Bo, luggage at his feet.

“Chrissy, this is my husband.” Bo says.

We shook hands, I never did get his name, and then Lenny walked up to the house looking just as confused as I was.  He was introduced to him as well, and we both went inside to figure this one out.

Let me backup.  Bo and this man have known each other for 2 years and have been married for one.  Bo went to Germany to visit him in early October and was supposed to stay for a month but came home after only ten days or so.  She doesn’t talk about him much.  He calls her every night and she talks to him for a long time.  Tak has informed me more than once that Bo doesn’t like talking to him because they get into fights every night.  I am pretty sure that he gives her a monthly stipend to use to take care of the family and the house, as this is how a lot of Thai women/farang men relationships work, especially in Isan.  I think lately he has been questioning whether Bo is trying to make money also, so that he is not just giving her all the money.  I can say she is definitely working.  They do laundry for a ton of people, are always folding and ironing and delivering the clean batches.  And every chance she gets, she’s trying to make money – she made giant kratongs for Loy Kratong and sold them for 100b a piece and she’s pretty good at making some poker money.  Bo has also shared with me that he is rather suspicious that she is cheating on him.  While many Thai women in my town are cheating on their foreign husbands, Bo definitely is not and it’s sad to see her be accused by him in not so many words.

So Lenny and I are sitting in the main room, everyone else is outside, and we’re trying to understand why nobody mentioned he was coming.  Then Tak rushes in and is whispering “Surprise, surprise.”  Apparently he didn’t tell them he was coming – basically he came to check in on her. 

I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but it’s just such a bizarre situation, I don’t think either of them are fluent in the same language.  I think they talk in a bit of German, English, and Thai…

You can imagine how awkward it was, and we decided it was a good thing Lenny wasn’t the only friend visiting.  As soon as we realized no one knew what to do, we grabbed my laundry and got out of there. The End.

 

The Future of the World

Ladies and gentlemen, here is the next figure who will wreak international havoc on the world, mark my words.

Beam Beam in full force and wet stains with the sword set I gave him for his 5th birthday. And if that’s not scary enough …

He can also move trucks.

 

A Less than Welcome Surprise

This morning teachers from all our schools came out to Bangkok to meet and welcome us, their new foreign teachers. My town is called Pakthongchai, about a 40 minute ride SW of Khorat. Two Thai teachers and the Vice Director came to meet me and chat with Lenny. Lenny is from Sweden and so helpful – he taught at our high school last semester so he is putting up with all my questions about teaching, the school, and the town.

We were supposed to start on October 29, in two Mondays, giving me enough time to hang around Bangkok, maybe head somewhere new, and then get settled in Pakthongchai. Well…sitting with one of the Thai teachers – she was adorable by the way, she said she will be my buddy and teach me Thai with the Isan dialect! – she asks if it’s OK if we start teaching October 22, THIS Monday. The reason is that the Southeast Asian (SEA) Games are happening in Khorat in December; they’re a biannual mini-Olympics for 11 or so countries in SE Asia. Because of this, the school will be closing for a week in December to attend the games. While all this will be exciting, I am nervous to start so soon! I think I will head to Khorat on Saturday and then Lenny will show me the bus to get to Pakthongchai.

I guess this really does show the Thai attitude that we’ve been hearing about – relax, don’t worry, be calm, be happy. So I’m sure the sooner I start, the better and faster I will adjust. I have been anxious to get there anyhow, but I won’t get to see much of Bangkok this time around. And I am a bit relieved, Pakthongchai is probably the size of Ban Phe or bigger – it has a Tesco Lotus! – so it shouldn’t be as rural as I thought…

Now, to start packing again…

 

Things I’m Confused About

• I speak no Thai. This seems really problematic for me. I don’t expect to be fluent in a language in order to teach kids English, but I know nothing. Literally. Just the other day I received my Lonely Planet Thai phrasebook with pronunciations and questions, so maybe that will help. I’m interested in how we teach kids a new language – is it really as simple as immersion? If so, I am mad I never took language lessons when I was 4 years old.
• Should I take malaria pills? I have the Rx, but it seems unnecessary – everyone seems to just use some DEET topical ointment and I hear the pills make you sick over time anyhow.
• I am flying Southwest into LAX. I have a 2 hour layover before boarding a THAI Airways flight to Bangkok. I’m worried that (a) my flight to LAX will be delayed and/or will arrive late and (b) for some crazy airport reason, I will not have time to check into my BKK flight once I land in Los Angeles. I’m still trying to decide whether THAI Airways will let me check in early, so that I already have my boarding pass…
• Will everything I need to pack fit into the backpack I decide to buy? (Currently leaning towards the Rick Steves option – it’s a little nicer looking, is 40 bucks cheaper, expands, and has a side water bottle pocket – OH and it’s Rick Steves!) Either way, the first bulky item to go if it doesn’t fit is a towel. Update: I’ve gone with the Rick pack and am anxiously awaiting its arrival so I can practice packing!